


Connectivity

by consumptive_sphinx



Category: Hamlet - William Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew - William Shakespeare
Genre: Emails, F/M, Facebook, Gen, Humor, I am shipper trash, M/M, Memes, Modern AU, Multi, Social Media, crackfic, written for English class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 09:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3891391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consumptive_sphinx/pseuds/consumptive_sphinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you transpose things onto social media and provide internet access, certain events... change.</p>
<p>Yes. Change. That's the word we'll use.</p>
<p>(I don't even know)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connectivity

Juliet: Romeo is the bae <3  
Romeo: omg ily jules <3  
Rosaline: hey j whats your email  
Juliet: capuletcutie@gmail.com, why?

Sent from: rosienotcotton@yahoo.com  
To: capuletcutie@gmail.com  
Look, Julie, you're a smart girl, you can make your own decisions. But I gotta warn you, Romeo's a bit weird - not creepy, just weird. We met at a party and afterwards he wouldn't leave me alone, he was yelling up at my balcony and everything.  
Again, I'm not trying to tell you not to date him, I just want you to make an informed decision.   
Best of luck,  
Rosie

 

Tybalt: Hey guys wheres Romeo?  
Mercutio: BLOW-ME-O  
Tybalt: ...been there, done that, had fun, you know that's not insulting, right? likr even a little bit?  
Tybalt: but srsly where is he  
Romeo: You called?  
Tybalt: yeah. dude, that was my party. dont crash my parties. not cool. thou art a villain.  
Romeo: I must protest I never wounded thee, and villain am I none.  
Romeo: Look, I'm sorry about the party, my friends dragged me along, won't happen again. Promise.  
Mercutio: O calm, dishonorable, vile submission! Alla stoccato carries it away!  
Romeo: wtf? He's your boyfriend, mer, aren't you supposed to side with him?  
Tybalt: also what's alla stoccato  
Mercutio: Means 'at the thrust'. ;) fencing thing, you know, cuz ur on the fencing team  
Tybalt: you're a dumbass but I love you

 

Hamlet: To eat my uncle's donut? Or not to eat?  
Mercutio: dude you hate your uncle get over your existantial crisis and eat the donut  
Hamlet: But twas my father's donut once!  
Mercutio: SUCCOMB TO SUGARY, DEEP-FRIED MADNESS. EAT THE EVIL DONUT.  
Benvolio: y r all my friends so weird?  
Tybalt: Idk either and I'm dating the guy.

 

Lysander: Hermia your the light of my life!  
Hermia: ily too, wanna meet up in the woods tonite?  
Demetrius: NOOOOOOOO  
Egeus: *you're. Is it really that difficult to spell correctly? No wonder you're unworthy of my daughter.  
Puck: your a grammarnazgul yiss u aaarrrreee, ur so stup go bak 2 sküle  
Oberon: puck don't be an ass, leave that to Bottom

 

Capulet: where did i go wrong? why do i have such a disobediant, ungrateful daughter?  
Baptista: you have NO idea  
Juliet: I'm not backing down on this one  
Kate: u go girl! tell him!  
Friar Lawrence: That's a bad idea, Juliet  
Juliet: ..ok, dad, I'm sorry, I'll marry Paris  
Paris: :D!  
Romeo: D: !?  
Kate: Really?!?!?!

 

Sent from: capuletcutie@gmail.com  
To: untamedshrew@sonic.net  
Re: visit  
If, hypothetically speaking, I wanted to leave Verona with one other person and live with you and Petruchio, would that be alright? Friar Lawrence wanted us to go to Mantua, but seeing as you're family now, I thought I should ask.

Sent from: untamedshrew@sonic.net  
To: capuletcutie@gmail.com  
Re: visit (2)  
Yeah, sure, totally. I take it you aren't really marrying this Paris guy?

Sent from: capuletcutie@gmail.com  
To: untamedshrew@sonic.net  
Re: visit (3)  
Course not, I got secretly married to my bf Romeo, and we have to run away now.

Sent from: untamedshrew@sonic.net  
To: capuletcutie@gmail.com  
Re: visit (4)  
What.


End file.
